東華三院譚錦球伉儷幼稚園，每年都為準畢業生準備一份別具意義的禮物。今年，他們以大自然為題材，邀請高班小朋友利用樹葉創作精美的英文圖卡。每張卡都配以感恩的字句，展現對成長歷程的珍惜與回饋。校長談樂芹希望透過這類活動式教學，貫徹學校的5A教育理念，培養幼兒品德、品格，並發展潛能，為未來做好準備，家長們也對此教育理念高度認同。想了解更多？立即觀看以下短片！
影片重溫
Category: Parents Zone
又到九月開學季節，你或者家中長輩還有沒有在小朋友書包綁一棵蔥、一棵芹菜，祝福他們新一年讀書聰（蔥）明又勤（芹）力的傳統？與其說這是迷信，我卻認為是長輩對小朋友開學日表達的祝福。今年開學日，我就去了一間幼稚園，認識學校如何利用開學日、畢業禮等大日子推動正向教育，讓學生從中學習感恩、主動學習等價值觀。
這間是位於長沙灣的東華三院譚錦球伉儷幼稚園，在東華三院超過四十年的幼稚園辦學歷史中，它算是一個新Baby，創校至今不過第四年。新學校特別多新構思，就以一年一度的開學日為例，我踏入校門第一眼望到的是一個巨型「聰明勤學榜」，設計類似日本寺廟外給信眾祈願的小木牌，附近圍住了不少學生和家長，在小木牌上寫上小朋友的名字和家長對他們的祝福，氣氛熱烈。談樂芹校長話，首年在開學日推出這個「聰明勤學榜」，除了可以給家長和學生影相打咭，也希望鼓勵學校和家庭聯手，在開學日給學生送上一份心意：「希望新學年新開始，小朋友第一樣感受到的是學校和父母的愛。」
這位談校長，我會形容是一個甚有「儀式感」的校長，喜歡學校不同的活動「盛事化」：上課第一百天，學校會搞一個百日慶祝活動，向家長展示小朋友的學習成果；生日月份有主題服飾派對；最厲害的要數每年畢業禮，由高班學生集體創作一份獨一無二的紀念品，以去年為例，畢業班同學在老師帶領下利用樹葉畫畫，製成英文圖咭，上面寫著由學生創作的句子，以表達對生命的感恩：我感恩在學校聽到小朋友笑聲、我感恩我的家裡可以有熱水洗澡……
這間幼稚園重視5A教育，當中包括宣揚正念（Advocacy）、積極學習（Active-learning）和美感觸覺（Artistic Sensibility）等，這份畢業禮物，就是這個5A教育的延伸。談校長解釋：「例如，學生表示感恩在學校聽到同學的笑聲，老師就會進一步啟發小朋友思考，自己又可以做什麼事情，為身邊同學帶來歡樂？由此將正向教育的訊息推廣出去。」儀式感到了最後，校方還是希望透過正向教育，來培養小朋友的創意、好奇心、主動學習等素養，裝備他們應付小學生活或者未來更加千變萬化的世界。
學校在九月和十月份都安排了簡介會和親子開放日，如果大家想認識這位「儀式感」的校長，或了解新一代幼稚園的校園環境和活動，不妨帶小朋友一同出席，也是一個不錯的周末家庭好去處。
以孩子的底線來欣賞孩子的進步
撰文：輔導心理學家 莫黛琳
有一位 3 歲小女孩，剛接受遊戲治療時，她媽媽說女孩每天在家因大大小小的事情，起碼要發 3 至 4 次脾氣，每次半小時以上。過了 3 個多月的遊戲治療後，她大哭的頻密度已減少至 1 至 2 個星期一次，有時候 3 個星期才發生一次。但這位母親依然覺得很困擾，因為在她的朋友圈子裡面，孩子們一般哭 5 到 10 分鐘便能夠平復下來。而這位女兒，她每次大哭依然要花上起碼半個小時才能夠慢慢轉化。
又有一位同齡的內向小男孩，剛開始接受遊戲治療時，他連續 4 次在遊戲室內只碰他熟悉的玩具車，在他覺得安全的小小範圍裡面，小心翼翼地觀察這個陌生的環境和我這一位陌生的姨姨。過了幾個月後，他父親說他在公園裡開始願意嘗試自己玩滑梯，也願意自己參與一些興趣班，不需要父母陪同。但是，父母依然很擔心他的社交能力，因為覺得「他和別的孩子不一樣」。小男孩每一次參加團體活動，仍舊是睜大着雙眼，站在人群的一角，靜靜地看著別人活動，自己並不參與。
沒錯，如果與別人比較，我們很容易見到自己孩子的不足。看到孩子進步，希望他們能夠更上一層樓，是人之常情，父母的心懷。然而，請不要忘記，每一個孩子都是獨特的，他們的底線是不同的。當我們量度孩子有沒有進步時，如果我們用別人的尺「一刀切」，我們可能很難看見孩子的進步，鼓勵他們繼續前進，而只著眼於他們還沒有做到的。
對於一個性情比較敏感，容易遇到挫折發脾氣，比較難適應轉變帶來衝擊的孩子而言，她可能依然需要半個小時來表達她的不如意。可是當她開始有能力，增強自己面對不如意時的抗逆力，減少哭的頻密度，已經是進步。在她下一次大哭以前，她可能已經用盡了她的能量來適應生活中轉變的節奏，抗衡各種不如意。她需要的，是父母體諒她片刻的軟弱。她可能不會像那些適應力強的孩子，那麼輕鬆容易來面對生活。但是，有父母愛的體諒、明白和接納，她會慢慢發展出抗逆和適應能力，使自己變得輕鬆一點。
和睦家庭第一戒：和好要在睡覺前
撰文：舞台及電視編劇張飛帆
我家裡有一條家規，唯一的一條。「別把悲傷帶到夢裡。」這條家規在我和太太結婚前就已經訂下，直到成家立室，寶寶出生，規則一直沿用至今。
人與人相處，無論是家人好，朋友好，總會有意見不合的時候。放諸熱戀中的男女，自然也是一樣。那時候跟太太拍拖，倆小口子難免間中會擦出小風波。那時候太太就提出了一個要求：「無論我們有甚麼爭執，睡前請和解，我不想把悲傷帶進夢裡。」
作為聰明的男士，我當然聽懂了言下之意，即是「無論你錯定我錯，總之嗌交嘅話你都要喺瞓之前氹返我！」
試過有好幾次，我們爭執得臉紅耳熱，那口氣我無論如何也嚥不下肚。到了睡覺的時候，我心想，堂堂一個大男人，幾碗白飯也吃得下，怎麼一口氣嚥不下了？於是便跟太太道歉，兩口子和好如初。
有一次，兒子一夫不知犯了甚麼事，被我責罵了幾句，一整天都不肯跟我說話。起初他躲在房裡，又或者躲在媽媽身後。但每次當他經過我面前，總會偷偷的瞄我一眼，然後又躲到我看不到的地方。
如是者，睡覺的時間到了。
平常孩子們都有個習慣，不論是一夫哥哥還是諾兒妹妹，睡前都一定會興高采烈的跑過來親吻我和太太，大聲說句「Sweet dream」 、「Love you」云云。可是那一晚，一夫無論如何也不肯過來跟我說晚安。他一直黐著工人姐姐，不停嚷著要上床睡覺。
於是我走到他旁，問他：「你是不是生爸爸的氣？」
一夫點頭。
「因為爸爸今天責罵了你。」
他又點了點頭，連眼睛也紅起來了。
「我們和解好嗎？」
搖頭。
「如果爸爸向你道歉呢？」
終於，一夫哇的一聲，抱著我哭了出來，堆積了一整天的委屈如決大川。
相信大家都清楚，爭執，本來就雙方都不好受。根據一夫的形容，當他生氣的時候，心裡就像有一千條蟲蟲在爬呀爬，咬呀咬。既然如此，試問有誰願意帶著一千條蟲蟲到睡夢裡呢？
其實一夫根本也渴望和解，只是礙於面子，也不懂得抒發自己的感受。
我跟一夫說：「爸爸和媽媽有個約定，就是無論我們有甚麼爭執，睡覺前都要和解！」
因為我們都不應讓愛的人帶著眼淚到夢裡，不是嗎？
Three Family Education Practices Every Parent Can Implement
Written by: Founder & Volunteer Director of Good Love Passion
Lam Ho Pui Yee
People often have different views on “family education.” Some may say that family education is the education provided within the family or the integration of family and education. If you believe that family education involves raising children and teaching them the principles of life, then congratulations! You already have a fairly accurate understanding of family education. Here are three important and easily achievable family education practices for your reference:
1. Engage in Conversations at the Dinner Table
If parents tend to educate or reprimand their children at the dinner table, it can lead to feelings of sadness and digestive issues in the child. Many parents also enjoy watching TV while eating, which not only distracts the child but can also cause indigestion. The valuable “conversations” and “laughter” in family life can reduce stress and create a harmonious atmosphere of mutual trust and happiness. Starting today, please put down your phones, stop browsing the internet during meals, and sincerely enjoy a meal with your family.
2. Engage in Conversations at the Dinner Table
If parents tend to educate or reprimand their children at the dinner table, it can lead to feelings of sadness and digestive issues in the child. Many parents also enjoy watching TV while eating, which not only distracts the child but can also cause indigestion. The valuable “conversations” and “laughter” in family life can reduce stress and create a harmonious atmosphere of mutual trust and happiness. Starting today, please put down your phones, stop browsing the internet during meals, and sincerely enjoy a meal with your family.
3. Provide Positive Role Modeling
When parents react with panic and uncertainty to unexpected events, their children will likely respond in the same way when faced with difficulties in the future. If parents remain calm and composed in such situations, their children will learn to handle challenges with poise. This positively contributes to the development of the child’s psychological resilience. Parental role modeling profoundly influences children; all parents should strive to provide a clear and accurate reflection, helping their children develop a positive self-image.
Family education encompasses the physical and mental development of family members at different life stages, as well as the cultivation of attitudes and emotional lives. Families that frequently resort to corporal punishment or coercive discipline may raise children with low self-esteem or timid personalities. Conversely, families that indulge their children and allow them to govern themselves may produce children with arrogance and unreasonable behavior. Under the guidance of correct, positive, and loving family education, children can develop good character, establish correct values, and achieve holistic development that emphasizes a positive attitude towards life and appreciation for existence.
Children’s Vocabulary? 2 Essential Methods to Implement in Daily Life!
Source: Speech Therapist Mom Miss Carley
Vocabulary skills can be divided into two categories: expressive and receptive. Expressive vocabulary refers to the words that children can say, while receptive vocabulary refers to the words that children can understand when they hear or see them.
Generally, children have a larger receptive vocabulary than expressive vocabulary. For example, a one-year-old child can say about five words, such as “Daddy,” “Mommy,” “Grandma,” “street,” and “ball.” However, they can understand more words than they can express. For instance, if a parent says, “Where is the light?” the child may be able to point to it. They can also understand questions like “Do you want a bun?” or “Are you drinking milk?” and phrases like “Let’s go to the street.”
Expressive Vocabulary Levels by Age:
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1 year: Can say some single words.
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1.5 years: About fifty words; can use some single words to form short sentences.
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2 years: Can reach two hundred to three hundred words.
3 years: About five hundred to one thousand expressive words.
In fact, the way and amount of time parents converse with their children daily is directly related to the children’s vocabulary development. So, how can we enhance children’s vocabulary in daily life?
Method 1: Stimulating Language Environment
During infancy and toddlerhood, parents should engage in more conversations, play parent-child games, and sing songs to encourage interaction. In the process, parents can try to use different types of vocabulary to describe their children’s actions. For instance, when a child is playing with a toy car, instead of just saying the noun, “Yes, that’s a car,” parents might also add adjectives, saying, “Yes, this car is red and very big.” They can also use verbs, saying, “Ah! You are driving the car,” or “You are sitting in the car.” Additionally, using locational words like “Now the car is on the table…under the table” can expose children to a variety of vocabulary and help them express themselves better.
Method 2: Aligning with Children’s Interests
If a child enjoys reading, engaging in parent-child reading can introduce many new words. Furthermore, parents can describe the events happening around them based on their child’s abilities and interests. For example, at the supermarket, parents might say, “These are bananas and apples.” When in the car, they can talk about the scenery outside.
If the child has the ability, parents can also describe events that happened earlier, such as, “This morning we played at the park and kicked a soccer ball,” allowing the child to use more vocabulary related to past experiences.
如何協助孩子分清「需要」定「想要」？學理財從「身教」開始
撰文：認可兒童財商導師Miranda Lee
成長在疫情下的孩子，既不能外出上學，就連上街購物的機會也少了，不少家長們也擔心孩子在成長的旅程上好像有點缺失，苦惱怎樣為家中的孩子們提供「心靈」補充品。
最近朋友提及，她的8歲女兒原來已經學會自己網購，前陣子更在網上書店一口氣購買了很多文具和書本，並利用父母網上支付平台付款。購買過程中，女兒原本只想選購兩本故事書，但被不斷彈出的廣告和優惠吸引著，不自覺地選購了很多額外「想要」物品。
的確，大人偶爾也會「想要症發作」，被產品的外表及廣告誘惑，形成衝動消費，對於理財觀念較弱的小朋友，更易誤以為網購「零負擔」，只要由父母電子支付，一切就如「想要就有」的消費模式。
如何培養正確的消費習慣？
研究發現，父母對金錢的態度及理財的習慣，都直接影響孩子的理財觀，所以「身教」相當重要，平日不妨讓孩子多觀察自己消費過程，體驗父母如何面對「想要」的誘惑，購物前先問自己三條問題：例如是否物有所值，是否已有相類似，是否經常使用到等等，當自己已經心中有數，自然可以避免衝動消費。
為了寓購物於學習，我會先讓孩子選購自己所需物品，付款時，就是教導孩子「理財」的好時機。重新讓他們檢視購物車內那些是「需要」的，考慮物品的價值和實用性，提醒「想要」雖可以滿足慾望，但是否「需要」立即購買，並要由自己零用錢負擔，直接讓他們從錢包裡拿出金錢來結賬。這樣，孩子便變得謹慎，立即思前想後，掙扎「買與不買」，苦惱之情相當搞笑。所以鼓勵小朋友使用實體金錢，明白東西是要用錢買回來，不能隨便浪費。
父母對金錢的運用，是孩子建立理財觀的一面鏡。所以以身作則十分重要，好好善用生活中的契機。所謂「想要」是無窮無盡，金錢卻是有限，我們消費前必須三思，分辨「需要」和「想要」，量入為出。特別在疫情下，讓孩子學會感恩和知足，才是給孩子一生受用的理財智慧。
撰文：卓王詠詩博士
最近，天氣不穩定，經常落雨。我在等巴士期間，遇見一班中學生排隊上車，赫然發現有一位女同學沒有帶遮，非常狼狽，我連忙與她分享我的雨傘。他們是穿着同一學校的校服，可能彼此不太認識，但看見同校同學如此狼狽，為何沒有一位同學願意跟她分享雨傘？這令我想起從小建立同理心的重要性。
1. 同理心為基礎
美國心理學家丹尼爾‧高曼（Daniel Goleman），他在《EQ II：工作EQ》一書中指出，處理人際關係的能力即是以同理心為基礎，可以試著從察覺他人需要及關心對方的看法等原則為出發點，了解他人觀點，認知他人情緒與回應對方的感受，同時提高個人的同理心。意即同理心強，人際關係比較好，相反亦然。
2. 認知他人情緒
透過換位思考，體會他人情緒和想法，才能站在他人角度理解與處理問題。我們要從小教育兒童先認識自己的情緒，亞洲人的社區較為內斂，除了開心不開心以外，還有很多不同的情緒。從小向兒童灌輸情緒沒有好壞之分，卻有適當及不適當的處理情緒方法。例：可以憤怒，憤怒時可以向人傾訴，但憤怒時打人便是不恰當。從小認識自己的情緒，也會較容易體會他人的情緒，慢慢培養同理心。
3. 察覺他人需要
處於密集的香港，各人也很忙碌，經常垂下頭打手機，較少留意身邊人和事。兒童從小認識自己及他人的情緒有助長大後察覺及敏感於他人的需要。
筆者相信小朋友從小培養同理心非常重要。最近教育局提倡價值觀教育，當中包括：同理心。各人從小培養理解他人的感受及需要，設身處地明白他人，世界將會變得更美好。
參考書籍：
丹尼爾.高曼(1998) 《EQ 2: 工作EQ 》時報文化出版企業股份有限公司
Is Competition Just Stress? 3 Major Benefits to Help Children Build Inner Strength
I believe all parents have heard the term “glass heart,” and no one wants their children to have a “glass heart.” Whether they are just starting school or entering the workforce, everyone faces various levels of competition. If they don’t know how to cope, it can lead to mental and physical exhaustion, even affecting personal development. Allowing children to participate in competitions based on their interests and willingness offers many benefits:
1. Learning to Follow Rules
Every competition or competitive game has its own set of rules that must be followed, such as arriving on time and adhering to size specifications for submitted work. These experiences teach children the importance of following rules. Parents can also explain why these rules exist, such as fairness in size specifications and convenience with deadlines.
2. Learning to Express Themselves
Not every child is born with a strong desire to perform or is accustomed to showcasing their talents. Children who participate in competitions can boost their confidence by observing the behavior of other children and responding to the cheers and encouragement from the audience, learning to be more willing to express themselves.
In any competitive situation, whether it’s a competition or a game, there will always be winners and losers, and often there is only one champion. When a child achieves victory, parents can provide appropriate encouragement to maintain their enthusiasm for the activity and the competition. This is also a good opportunity to teach children to express gratitude to the staff, teammates, and friends who supported them during the competition.
Even if they unfortunately lose, parents can accompany their children through feelings of disappointment, helping them understand that even in failure, there are valuable lessons to be learned for next time. They should realize that losing a competition does not mean they gained nothing. More importantly, it’s essential to reflect on the experience of failure and prepare for the next opportunity.
Ability and interest are the two major variables in career planning
Written by: Registered Educational Psychologist, Mr. Pang Chi-wah
As Hong Kong shifted from industrial to service-oriented industries, the constant turnover of societal sectors has left many youths feeling extremely helpless about their future prospects. Some young individuals are unsure of what they want or what career path to pursue. If they choose the wrong subjects in secondary school or university, it adds more confusion to their future. Recognizing this, the education sector has begun to emphasize students’ career planning.
Youthful years are invaluable, and time is a precious resource. In our growth process, engaging in career planning is akin to a national investment. However, the investment made by young individuals is not monetary but temporal. Where should they allocate this time?
When young individuals engage in career planning, the key consideration regarding time allocation revolves around their personal interests and abilities. Ability refers to what a person can do, which can be objectively assessed or evaluated and compared with the requirements of a job to determine compatibility.
Interest is more subjective, rooted in personal feelings or desires, sometimes challenging to assess objectively due to individual differences. Young people’s interests may be influenced by their family background, learning experiences, and social environment, and can be understood through personal interviews.
Considering students’ abilities and interests, the two major variables in their career planning can be categorized into four groups:
Category One:
These students may lack the ability or interest, or choose subjects and careers they have no ability or interest in, leading to a painful future. Even though they may currently lack specific interests or abilities, it doesn’t mean they never will. Therefore, it is crucial for family members and teachers to help them discover their interests and abilities starting now.
The solution to this issue is to explore different areas. Schools can collaborate with various industries to establish long-term partnerships, allowing students to intern or learn in these organizations. Through these activities, schools can help students better understand the industries they may face in the future and discover their interests and abilities. Simultaneously, this can reduce their sense of helplessness and confusion when entering society.
Category Two:
These students have interests but lack sufficient ability. They might be interested in certain subjects or careers but have a noticeable gap in their learning abilities. For example, a student might aspire to be a doctor after watching a movie and saving lives, yet their science grades are poor. Or they may wish to be a teacher, educating the next generation, but their speaking or language skills are lacking. Perhaps these students can improve through hard work to bridge the gap between their interests and abilities, but they must be prepared for the significant pressure they may face in the future.
Getting involved and participating hands-on can dispel misconceptions students may have about certain industries due to media or family influence. For instance, a psychiatrist in a movie might seem to earn a substantial income by simply talking to patients. While this appears to be an excellent job, in reality, it involves extensive paperwork, analysis, and diagnosis after conversing with patients. Visits and internships can allow them to truly experience the career path they envision and determine if it aligns with their interests. Therefore, in career planning, time should be invested in various visits and experiences to validate their planned career path.
Category Three:
These students have the ability but lack interest in sustaining it. Contrary to Category Two students, these individuals are often driven by their academic performance in selecting subjects or careers. For instance, excelling in mathematics might lead them to pursue accounting in university, or proficiency in languages might lead them to study linguistics and become a teacher. However, they may realize they have chosen paths where they have the ability but lack interest, potentially leading to a lack of motivation or persistence in the future.
The external environment, such as family or school, can also influence the development of interests in these students. For example, a student may aspire to be an artist, possessing talent and a strong interest, but in a society like Hong Kong that prioritizes commerce, opportunities for artistic development may be limited, dampening their interest. Therefore, teachers and social workers need to have a keen understanding of different industries’ characteristics and create a stimulating atmosphere to nurture students’ interests.
Category Four:
These students have found careers they are interested in and have the ability to study or delve into. Their career planning direction is clear, allowing them to progress towards a specific goal more easily. However, while these students may have identified their abilities and interests, they still need a good learning attitude to continue developing and truly succeed.
Although Category Four is the most ideal combination, few students can achieve this early on. It is essential to make students understand that career planning involves a growth process, a gradual transformation from one category to another through continuous learning and experience in the journey of life.
